Her Guardian Wolf (Sawtooth Shifters Book 2) Read online

  For now, they were cooperating with us. They were used to submission; a new master shouldn’t change that for them. But tonight, with the Beaver Moon at its fullest beauty, my shift was inevitable.

  When I’d been held captive, I would’ve done anything to be human again. Followed anyone who could make that happen. The ladies who worked at Forever Home were the only ones who came through for us, and I’d be forever faithful. But now, I needed to shed all the horrible things that had happened in the last few days, before this dark side of me took over everything else. A part of me wanted it to. The only way to avoid that was to go back to wolf.

  “Tonight’s the night?” Kiera asked. I’d never seen her look so worried. I met her at the shelter. Shadow was still wolf. Trina was nursing him back to health, along with the dogs we’d rescued from Ryker’s farm. The bastard had already begun restocking for more fights. These dogs had only been with Ryker a fraction of the time we’d been enslaved and were still in good shape.

  “It is.” We held hands in the parking lot, the cool crisp night falling all around us. The air tasted like snow. This close to the shift, my wolf twisted inside me, looking for any escape.

  “What are you going to do?” Her eyes were wide, studying me for any sign of change. It wasn’t gradual. Once the wolf found its out, I’d be animal within minutes. “Please tell me you’re going up to Baldy to run. That’s what you want. And if I hadn’t wiped out,” she rubbed her head, wincing when she hit the bump, “you could’ve had the run of the place the other night.”

  “I wish.” I let go of her, walking to the edge of the parking lot. The shelter was on what used to be pack land, and the woods were thick immediately. My mouth watered at the thought of running through them, the feel of the dead brush scraping against my belly, the silence of the autumn woods humming in my ears. “We’ve got to go to Ryker’s farm, check on the men since Shadow can’t, and catch up with Major. We have to tell him that Shadow took out Ryker. Shadow’s so pissed he can’t do his victory dance.” He hadn’t healed one hundred percent yet. With all those open wounds he’d be like an all you can eat buffet in the forest.

  Kiera laughed softly, coming up behind me. “I’m envious of you.” I could barely hear her. “I’d love to know what it’s like to turn into something else. It’s freedom, Baron. Don’t waste it. For me.”

  Her words echoed through my soul, my mouth watered even more. She’d fought for freedom only to lose her own. I wouldn’t let her down. “I won’t.” I already couldn’t wait to come back. No more waste. Since Shadow killed Ryker, there’d be little dispute he was alpha. The other wolves would be startled when the Channings took humans as mates, but they wouldn’t be able to fight it. Kiera was my girl, if she’d have me.

  Pulling Kiera against me, she welcomed me in for a long, hot kiss. A delectable mix of desire and desperation, she’d never tasted so good. Kiera might not be able to put her feelings into words, but the way her tongue tangled with mine, playfully at first, then urgent, her hands gripping my shoulders hard, I knew she was terrified about what the night would bring for me. I could tell her a thousand times that she had nothing to worry about, but words meant nothing compared to the way our bodies melted together in this kiss. We were one, and I wished I could bring her with me, so she could experience the shift through her own eyes and heart.

  It hurt to pull away from her. “Go back inside,” I rasped. I didn’t have much longer.

  “Baron—“

  “Not this time.” I gasped. Fur rose in my throat, I could hardly speak. “You can watch me when I have more control over it.”

  “Okay.” She didn’t look convinced. “Baron, I....um, just come back to me in one piece.” Her eyes clouded over, and she wrapped her arms around her middle, shielding her scars, before running back into the shelter.

  I wouldn’t give her any more scars. Only happy memories.

  My shift began before she made it to the door, fur ripping through my skin, claws elongating my fingers, my jaw breaking to accommodate fangs. All the stress and the pent up shit leading to this shift floated away. It didn’t fucking matter anymore. This was how I was meant to be. Animal.

  Dallas shifted just before dawn yesterday, after I got him back to the forest. He’d be waiting for me, so we could make sure everyone was behaving as Shadow wanted them to. The problem was, I didn’t give a damn about any of it, especially now I was the wolf. All the drama and the violence didn’t belong to me like this.

  I trotted through the dense woods, high off moss and sap fumes. Rolling onto my back, the dusting of snow on the path crunched under my fur. This was how things were supposed to be. At one with the forest. Not tearing each other apart.

  As the second in command, I was a loyal pack mate. I went to Dallas, even though all I wanted to do was run up that mountain. I found him on the porch, licking his paw, staring in the direction of Major’s village.

  “I’m not the first one to see you tonight?” I nudged him, trying to get him to lighten up.

  “Nope.” It didn’t work. “Major was here, wanting to know where Shadow was. Won’t believe Ryker’s gone until he sees it himself.”

  “Then he can go babysit his goons.” I certainly didn’t want to do it. “Think any of them will shift tonight?”

  “It’s possible.” Dallas padded down the steps, shaking out his fur. “It’s a good idea if we beat Major there.”

  “If any of them did shift, we should let them know they’re free to go.” I headed back to the trees, but Dallas didn’t follow. “What?”

  “Shadow will kill you if you let those guys go,” Dallas growled. He caught up to me, and we trotted side by side into the forest. “They’re in his pack now. He decides if they go or not.”

  So we just traded one regime for another, and nothing was going to change, except for my brother.

  That wasn’t what the Channings stood for.

  Chapter Eight

  Kiera

  “You’re safe. Thank God.” I ran to Baron when he and Dallas walked up the steps of Forever Home.

  “Damn, it’s good to see you.” Baron wrapped me in a tight hug, rocking me back and forth. He inhaled deeply, his face buried in my neck. They had only stayed wolves for a little more than twenty-four hours, but Shadow had yet to shift back to human.

  My heart broke for Trina, the pain on her face said everything she wouldn’t as she looked up at his brothers. The moon’s power affected the wolves’ strength, and if Shadow stayed like that too long, he might have to wait until it was full again to become a man. I’d worried Baron would have the same problem as his brother since it had been so long since they’d gone through a full shift.

  Trina hadn’t left Shadow’s side, and now she sat on the floor beside him, stroking his coat. His whines turned to barking and growling once his brothers returned, trying to tell them something. “Are you sure he’s not in danger?” Her eyes were rimmed with unshed tears.

  “It should be any time.” Baron sighed, but I knew he was completely bullshitting her. He didn’t look at Trina as he sunk to one knee, rubbing Shadow hard behind his ears. I knew they could talk to each other, no matter what form they were in, so maybe he was pleading with his brother to get his shit together and shift.

  My heart broke for me, too. With Ryker gone, the guys would have no reason to spend the night at our house anymore. I didn’t know what I’d do if Baron didn’t come back with me tonight. He’d finally given me something to look forward to. I’d learned a lot from the animals, but with Baron, I could put it all into action. I was ready to trust someone with my heart.

  “We’re going to get pizza.” Lyssie startled me when she touched my arm. I’d been lost in a Baron daydream. “Want to come?”

  Baron’s gaze flicked to me, but I couldn’t read them. “Not tonight.” I didn’t want to speak for him either way. “Raincheck?” She nodded, and slipped her hand in Dallas’ before heading out of the shelter.

  I followed her, but sat on the f
ront stoop. I didn’t want to stay inside, all awkward and shit, waiting for Baron to pay attention to me when he was more concerned with Shadow. And rightfully so. Still, all this unknown, all this wanting something, made me feel like I wasn’t enough. It was a sensation that had replaced the feeling in my burned skin. I never felt like this before my accident. If I didn’t have something, I did whatever it took to get it. No questions asked. No fear. But getting up close and personal with a fireball made me extremely aware of my limitations. And my mortality. I fucking hated both of them.

  “I missed you so much.” Baron words were an exhale as he sat beside me, like he hadn’t been able to breathe in the shelter. He slung his arm low across my back but his eyes were fixed on the trees at the end of the parking lot. Narrowing my eyes in the same direction, I wondered what he left behind there in the shift, and what he brought back.

  Missed you too didn’t even begin to cover it. I’d been to war, twice. I knew about risk and conflict. But having someone who was increasingly becoming the center of my universe morph into a wild animal, with the intention of serving no-holds-barred justice to other bloodthirsty wolves, I knew all too well the price he could pay. That’s one of the reasons I’d shut myself down so hard. I’d lost too many pieces of my heart already.

  Since I’d never get my point across with words, I kissed him. Catching him off-guard, grabbing his chin, I went for it. Noses bumping, tongues searching, exploring like I was going to find something different from the last time I’d been here. He did taste different. Earthy, musky. Baron matched my intensity, his fingers tangled in my hair, pulling me closer until I crawled into his lap. The heat from his body seared my skin through our clothes. Once the frenzy subsided, both of us realized we were back in each other’s arms, and we found a rhythm. It wasn’t lazy or comfortable. If this kiss had a soundtrack, it would be speed metal, complete with the screaming singer and double bass drum.

  We didn’t totally separate when the kiss was over. I rested my forehead against Baron’s, needing center. His fingers kneaded my scalp, and our lips moved, like the kiss didn’t stop just because we needed to catch our breath.

  “I’m not good with talking about feelings and shit,” I said softly. I loved sitting in his lap. There weren’t many people in the world who could make me feel small, in a good way. Protected. Safe. I let go of his shoulders, bringing my fingers up into his hair. It would’ve been too easy to kiss him again, it was so much easier to get my point across that way. “But I’m really glad you’re safe.”

  “You were all I could think about while I was in the forest.” Baron’s voice was raspy, like maybe he’d been the screaming singer belting out our theme song. “I couldn’t wait to get back to you.”

  Our lips found each another again. Softer, more needy this time. All the questions were out of the way now and we could say what we really meant. We didn’t need words.

  “You know, I still need a babysitter.” My eyelashes fluttered, my best attempt at flirting. Shit talking had always worked better for me. I spoke guy much better than I spoke girl, but this was worth a try.

  “There’s no place else I’d rather be.” He traced my jawline, but his eyes flickered with worry, and I knew he wasn’t completely with me.

  I looked back at the shelter door. “Do you think Shadow will shift soon?”

  He frowned, worry furrowing in his forehead. “He has to. When we were kids, sometimes it didn’t go smoothly. When you’re growing and your body is going haywire, all bets are off. But that’s not the case with him.”

  “He’s healing.” I hoped this didn’t mean he was hurt worse than we anticipated. Trina didn’t call the vet for him. I think she was embarrassed. The vet was a raging bitch, and there was no way to explain why the wolves were still at our shelter without blowing their cover.

  “We all are.” I brought him back to me, we’d both been trying to see through the door. I knew what was happening in there. Trina sitting on the floor, next to Shadow, crying in his fur. It had to be killing him. “What do you want to do tonight? We can meet up with Lyssie and Dallas.”

  “No,” Baron said before I had a chance to elaborate. “I want tonight to just be me and you.”

  That’s exactly what I wanted. We headed back to our apartment. Lyssie and Dallas wouldn’t be back for another couple hours. They’d come back here, since the Channing brothers house had burned down while they were in captivity. They’d been staying with their mom since they’d been freed, when they weren’t with us. Now that Ryker was out of the picture, they could get their lives back together.

  Baron’s animal rumbled just beneath the surface of his skin. I swear that’s what I felt. We could hardly keep our hands off each other. My hands slipped under his jacket as the door closed behind him, and I pushed him against the wall. I had to capture the warmth his body offered to chase the cold of the night and the last few years away. I fell against him, his hands everywhere on my body, over my clothes. The scars throbbed, a phantom pain. Or maybe I was feeling things again.

  “What do you want to do tonight?” I asked, like there was still any doubt about it. I’d never felt so out of control of my own body before. If I didn’t have Baron tonight, I’d ache until I did.

  There was no mistaking what he wanted. I’d never been weak in the knees before, so affected by any other person as I was by Baron tonight. I’d always admired power, but nothing was more impressive than a man who could become another being. He could be anything he wanted to be. I could never achieve that. He brushed his lips against mine. “The same thing you do.”

  “Make me understand what it feels like to shift. To have an animal rumbling inside me, clawing its way out.” My words came between strangled pants of breath. Nothing had ever turned me on more than the kind of ferocity that Baron had coursing through his veins. He was invincible. “I want to experience the euphoria of being completely wild.”

  Baron’s lips curled in a smile against my cheek. “I’m going to make you howl.”

  I’d never look at another full moon the same way again.

  Twisting the collar of Baron’s T-shirt in my hand, I escorted him into my bedroom. We could barely make it to the bed, our lips magnetic, needing to stop several times before we reached our destination. Letting go of the shirt, I pressed on his shoulders, leading him down to the mattress. I licked his neck, my tongue catching on stubble.

  “Should you be doing this?” he asked, looking up at me. I’d straddled his lap. It felt totally different than it did on the stoop of Forever Home. It wasn’t safe anymore. Every nerve in my body throbbed with raw need.

  I gasped, coming up for air. I’d asked him to show me what it was like to be wild and I’d totally commandeered everything. “Doing what?

  “You have a concussion,” Baron reminded me. “I don’t want to hurt you worse.”

  “I Googled it.” I slid his jacket off his shoulders, enjoying the hard curves of his biceps on the journey. I ran my lips over the exposed skin, the beginning of his collarbone. I couldn’t resist a quick nip before answering the rest of his question. “As long as I’m not dizzy or have a headache, I should be fine.”

  “Should be? Sounds dangerous.” He leaned back on his elbows.

  I climbed off his lap. “You need to get used to dangerous if you want to hang out with me.” Holy shit, the person who was talking sounded an awful lot like the old Kiera. I thought about interrupting her, because a lot of things could go wrong with this theory. But I was pretty interested in what she had to say. “I fall down, I scrape my knees. I take chances and I get hurt, Baron. But it’s better than always wondering what could have happened.”

  The light changed in his eyes, the gold jumping like flames, and for the first time, I saw Baron as a wolf. He crawled toward me, and I lowered myself to the mattress as he got closer. “You’re the kind of chance I want to take.” He hooked his leg over me, his fingers catching the bottom of my shirt. My heart shouldn’t have been thundering, but what if he
forgot what was under there? Maybe he thought it was all some twisted nightmare. But I’d just proclaimed myself as a fearless, badass bitch and I had to walk the walk. Hungry eyes fell on my bare skin. Maybe I was the one who was dreaming. “Can I touch you?”

  I nodded. Words would’ve come out as excuses. Plus it was pretty hard to talk when I was holding my breath. Baron started with my good side, brushing his fingers lightly over my nipple before his lips fell to my collarbone. He sighed, his warm breath sending goosebumps skittering across the surface of my skin. He continued kissing, and nipping, all while circling my nipple, teasing the point of it. Baron intended to eat me alive. I tangled my fingers in his hair, guiding him, desperate to keep some control.

  But I lost every bit of it when his tongue hit the top ripple of my scar, running it down the hard, twisted ridge. His fingers followed, ghosting over what should’ve been my other breast. “Baron.” His name was a strangled cry.

  His eyes flicked up. “See what happens, Kiera,” he pleaded. “Let me give you one happy memory, so when you look in the mirror tomorrow, maybe you can remember this, even if it’s just for a second, instead of what happened to you.”

  I couldn’t answer him. But I didn’t tell him to stop, either. Baron probably wouldn’t succeed on his mission. The joke was on him, I never looked at my body in the mirror, but at this point, I was willing to try anything to feel like a woman again. I’d lived in a man’s world for too long without giving much thought to my needs. It was time to let Baron work his magic.

  I let go of Baron’s hair, instead clutching the comforter. The sensations were weird, someone touching the part of me that had been dead for so long. The way his lips moved against my skin, I forgot what I looked like. He didn’t treat one side differently than the other—it was all new landscape for him to explore. And Baron didn’t miss an inch with his mouth or his fingers. Every so often he’d moan. The sensation rolled through my skin, triggering a pulse deep in my core. It didn’t matter where Baron touched me, he had that effect on me.