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  “What made you do it?” X unsnapped his seatbelt, and took my face in his hands. His thumb brushed my bottom lip. His skin had already calloused to protect himself from the hard work of being human. The sensation calmed my wolf.

  I repeated the story I told Cass. My body tensed, automatically expecting retaliation.

  “Your mother wanted to take care of you,” X said quietly. “That was her way of making sure she did it forever.”

  All the emotion I’d held in for my entire life rushed to the surface, and I fought it as hard as I could. But I’d been doing it too long, and my defenses had worn thin. X didn’t let go of my face when the first tears dropped from my eyes, and when the sentiment got to be too much, he pulled me against him. I was back on my mom’s bed, surrounded by half-packed boxes, bawling my eyes out. The intensity was the same, the only difference was I’d actually found the place that had almost become a forgotten fairy tale.

  “Sorry,” I gasped, running my fingers lightly under my swollen eyes.

  “What the hell are you apologizing for?” X picked up where I left off. His rough fingers felt so much better than mine doing cleanup duty. “Of course you miss her. Our folks have been gone for about five years now. Sometimes it smacks you right in the face. Time doesn’t matter.”

  “That’s for sure.” I tried to laugh, but it was still wrapped in the thick aftermath of my breakdown. “This hasn’t been what I expected, when I found that book.”

  X’s face fell, and I instantly wished I could take that last part back. “We protect each other, Chandra. We’ve never had a new wolf come to us that wasn’t an enemy. And we have a lot of fucking enemies. Remember how you felt when you read that book, that’s how I felt when I realized who you were, too. I found the part of me that I always thought would be missing.”

  “How do you always know the right thing to say?” This guy was too good to be true.

  “Believe me, I put my foot in my mouth so much I started to like the taste of my boots.” X kissed the tip of my still-damp nose before opening his door. “Come on. I want you to meet the forest.”

  I couldn’t wait to see Sawtooth in its full glory, and this was the perfect time for X to introduce us. She was a beauty, even in mud season. The damp, mossy aroma intoxicated me, and even though X led the way on a path no other human would ever use for hiking, I knew exactly where I was. Home.

  We didn’t talk as we walked, and it was perfect. My wolf was on overload, taking it all in. The only contact we had was our interlaced fingers. The magic of the forest flowed between us.

  Rocks jutted out from the forest floor, and I held on to X for balance as we navigated over them. I only had Chucks, and hiking sneakers they were not.

  “You must think I’m the world’s most inept wolf.” I tried to make a joke after I almost wiped out on a wet leaf. If X didn’t catch me, I would’ve face-planted for sure.

  He held me by the waist and didn’t let go right away. “How do you think I’d fare in Atlanta?”

  I smiled at the image, as X’s long hair rippled in the breeze. “I don’t think anything scares you.”

  “You’d be surprised. This scares me, being here with you. Because you could hate everything about this place. I don’t want to lose you.” He looked away from me, nodding to whatever had caught his eye. “We’re here.”

  A stream ran behind him, the water clear enough I could see the rocks on the riverbed floor. “You were serious about swimming?” It didn’t matter what form we were in, cold water was cold.

  “They’re hot springs.” X let go of my hand, approaching the water’s edge. He motioned for me to follow him, as he kneeled on a rock and dipped his fingers into the stream. Thin wisps of steam rose from the water. “It’s my favorite part of winter.”

  X wrapped his wet fingers around mine, and he wasn’t kidding. “That’s amazing,” I said.

  “Right?” He unzipped his jacket and lifted his sweatshirt over his head. “Even better, no one comes here this time of year. We have the place all to ourselves. So let’s see that suit.”

  I couldn’t pick up my jaw. The Sawtooth wolves had no problem with public nudity, but I wasn’t quite up to speed on that custom yet. “We’ll get arrested!” I cried.

  “Did you bring cuffs? They’d come in handy.” X wiggled his eyebrows. He’d freed himself from his jeans and boots and eased himself into the water. Within a couple steps, it was up to his thighs.

  “Left them with my bathing suit.” I stood frozen, unable to tear my eyes away from his body. He’d undressed in front of me almost every night, but I hadn’t seen him like this since the night of the shift. So primal and forbidden.

  I had yet to be that uninhibited with him. I’d changed my clothes with him in the room when he was a wolf, but in the last couple weeks, I’d gone to the bathroom. I was scared too, that he’d hate what he’d see.

  “What are you waiting for?” Now up to his waist, X splashed water at me. His hair was damp from the steam, and little drops of water beaded on his chest. My mouth was actually watering. “Take off your sweater,” he said when I didn’t move.

  His tone changed everything. Something I was all too familiar with—insatiable need—pulsed inside me. Like my wolf, it would claw its way out and demand satisfaction. His eyes were different, too. The caramel was still there, but it was sinful instead of sweet. I hadn’t seen this side of him yet, but my body throbbed, looking forward to getting to know all of him.

  I did as X asked, making a show of rolling the sweater up, shifting my hips and pushing out my chest when the sweater hid my face. I spent five years in a relationship with a gay man, and I was used to working extra hard to get his attention. I was so relieved when my ex came out, it actually caught him off guard. Finally I knew it wasn’t me, that I wasn’t totally undesirable.

  Today, I didn’t have any problem capturing the imagination of my playdate. X’s mouth hung open as the sweater dropped to the earth. I twirled around slowly, letting him get a good look at everything. I stopped with my back to him when I unhooked my bra, but I held it in place when I turned around, and took a couple steps closer to the water.

  “Can you untie my shoes for me?” I asked.

  X jumped like he forgot I had feet, but didn’t waste any time coming over and loosening my Chucks. I picked up one foot at a time, letting him slide my sneakers and socks away from my feet. I dipped my toes in the steaming water, the cold air slapping me when I came back up.

  “You are a wicked woman, Chandra.” X clapped his warm hand over my freezing foot. His gaze met mine, his wet hair clinging to his neck, and I could see everything down to his feet. He was ready for whatever was coming next. “Now let the bra fall.”

  I hugged the satin to my chest just a second longer. It wasn’t even a pretty bra. I’d almost worn a sports bra, unaware a striptease would be requested. Time to rethink my underwear strategy. I let the bra drop, and pulled my hair out of the elastic, letting it fall over my shoulders. It fell in gentle waves, a perfect complement to the rest of me. I closed my eyes. Anything but look at X.

  I wasn’t a kid anymore. I was thirty-seven and I’d gone soft in every conceivable way. My stomach swelled above my jeans, my boobs frowned instead of smiled, my thighs rubbed together, and my ass had a lot more cushion than it used to. Most of the time, it didn’t bother me. His hand is still on your foot, I reminded myself. He’s not going anywhere.

  “Hey,” he said, his voice as rough as the rocks under my feet. “Come here.”

  I crouched down so we were eye to eye. X took my face in his hands and kissed me. It was slow and hot, with the same rhythm as the current that moved around him. I gasped when he pulled away. X already knew balance wasn’t my thing, and he cupped the back of my neck while he brushed his other thumb over my nipple, which had hardened in the cold. It strained against his touch, wanting everything he had to give. The way he moved was hypnotic, and we’d both fallen under a spell. Our lips connected once again, hungry, needy.


  A cry echoed in the distance, and I jumped away from X, landing on my ass. “Someone’s here.”

  “Just an eagle.” X pressed his lips together. Yeah, I looked ridiculous, topless and sprawled out on a rock. He splashed me. “You’re gonna freeze if you don’t get in the water.”

  The rocks shined with freezing water, and I eased myself back over to X. My legs dangled over the edge as I shimmied out of my jeans. His eyes were glued to the skin I revealed as the denim peeled away.

  The water was a warm reward for being naked in the middle of the winter forest. “This is amazing,” I said after I dunked my head under water, whipping my hair back. Steam rose from my skin, and even though X was only inches from me, he was blurry through the mist.

  Not for long. X pulled me against his body; slick, wet and hot. I thought he was going to kiss me again, but instead he ran his hands up and down my bare arms, so warm against the cold forest air. I gasped when he dropped them down to my hips, and then cupped my ass. He pressed me against his body, his hard and ready shaft pushed into my hip. Still, he didn’t kiss me. I could’ve made the first move, but I was frozen in the knowledge there was no way we would stop with a kiss.

  I wasn’t scared. My wolf rippled under the surface of my skin. Never had I felt closer to X’s animal than I did right now.

  When his lips touched mine, I felt complete. We were one, in the middle of the forest. Our bodies fit together perfectly as our hands explored each other. X’s muscles were hard, smooth, and a little tense, ready to pounce. Something inside me rumbled, liking that possibility.

  X’s moan vibrated against my lips before he pulled away to kiss and nip my neck. He lingered at the pulsing spot that begged him to mark me a little too long, like he’d had the same thought. But instead, his hot breath met my breast as he sunk to his knees and took my nipple in his mouth. I’d been a fan of so many things X did with his mouth—his smile, his kisses, his sense of humor, but this was pure magic.

  He steadied me as I bowed my back, offering myself to him. His hand covered my breast when his lips switched to the other, giving it the same attention he’d lavished on the first. When he was done, he held them both. Droplets of water or maybe sweat beaded his face as he gazed up at me. “You must be freezing.”

  “It’s not that bad,” I lied. The only exposed part of me that was warm was where X’s hands covered my breasts.

  “You’re shivering.” He smirked. “Get down here.”

  Didn’t have to tell me twice. I sank down into the warm water, sighing with relief. “Do you get used to it? The cold? Or am I a big wimp because I’m from the South?”

  “You will. It doesn’t bother any of us.” X could barely get the words out before his lips connected with my skin, hot kisses landing on my shoulders and dipping town to where my breasts bobbed along the surface of the water.

  I wrapped my legs around my hips instinctually. My body wanted his. We fit together so well. X moaned, the heat of our bodies had magnetic pull. I writhed against X and he lifted his gaze, the gold like flames above the steaming water.

  “I want you so bad, Chandra.” His words were tipped with a growl. It was so sexy. “Here, in the middle of the forest.”

  “I wanted to know what the forest felt like.” I leaned against his forehead. “I can’t think of a more perfect way to find out.”

  X slipped inside me easily, like he belonged there. I’d forgotten the delicious pain that this brought. It had been a while—I hadn’t wanted anyone to distract me from my mission of coming to Sawtooth. X grasped my hips, harder than I expected, and moved me up and down his cock like I was a doll. I’d never had a man take control like this. I was used to doing all the work. X had a way of making me feel like no one else ever had.

  It was amazing. I gripped his shoulders, keeping up with his thrusts while trying to retain some control over my body. I tried to kiss him, I wanted him to claim me from the inside out. But we kept missing each other. X laughed, and buried his head in my chest, taking my nipple in his mouth. The rhythm of his tongue with the long strokes inside me were enough to shoot me straight into the sky. I clamped down, needing to feel all of him. I’d never known these hot springs existed, and they’d quickly become my favorite place in the world. I never wanted this to stop.

  “Let go, baby,” X grunted. “Let yourself be wild. You’ve been waiting your whole life for this.”

  Had I ever been. I let my head fall back and cried out. The echo through the forest was so satisfying. No more hiding. No more denying what I was. I was a wolf. And I belonged to X.

  Chapter Six

  X

  I had another job outside of the shop. Taxi service. Every morning, I dropped Shea and Delaney off at the Channing Reserve. As much as my little brother was determined to get a paying job, Granger Falls wasn’t exactly hiring.

  Shea’s rap sheet was longer than his resume. But his impulsiveness and penchant for getting his point across with bloodied knuckles weren’t what stood between him and a regular paycheck, this time anyway. Everyone in town was on edge, trying to anticipate Ember’s next move. Ranches meant land, and that’s what she was after.

  He could bullshit us all he wanted about manning up and not fighting on the underground circuit anymore, but I wasn’t buying it. I booked his fights, and it was easy money for minimal work. Before the Montana wolves showed up, Shea had never lost a fight. Not even close. Even if he really wanted to stop, I knew he didn’t want to give up the time on the Reserve with Delaney. Besides having to share my truck, it didn’t matter if Shea brought home a paycheck. We made it work. And Delaney accomplished something that no one else could.

  She turned my brother into a man.

  Ember planned to build a resort in the heart of downtown. That’s why she was so hot to get our motorcycle shop and the surrounding businesses. We could look out our front window and see Bald Mountain. Major might be content to push paper at her, which still blew my mind, but I wasn’t. I had a lot of time to think of this, lying on my living room floor, hanging on to life by the tip of my claws. Revenge was one of the only things that distracted me from the pain. I welcomed it, because it gave me motivation to heal. To thrive.

  To throw this bitch the fuck out of Idaho.

  We finally all had what we wanted. A reason to wake up in the morning besides making money and causing trouble. No, it wasn’t perfect, and it never would be, but it was pretty damn good and that was more than we had any right to ask for.

  “What are you doing?” Shea asked as I followed him. In addition to the livestock sanctuary, the Channings were building a cluster of cabins on the land. Some were for themselves; the rest would be offered to the pack and eventually to vacationers. I had to hand it to them, I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to make the nightmares go away if I have had to sleep on this land again.

  “Have you talked to Dallas?” I asked. Shea and Delaney stopped at the barn, gathering their supplies for the start of the day. I smirked, but kept my comments to myself. Shea had never played well with others, until now.

  Two down, one to go. I wondered how Chandra would change me. Exploring the forest with her had been incredible. We had to drag ourselves away from the hot springs. We stayed there for hours, swimming and exploring each other’s bodies. Just thinking of her now sent a rumble through me. I’d been starving for her.

  “Just in passing, since the shift.” Shea wrinkled his brow under the cowboy hat he always wore. Ever since he was a kid, he’d marched to the beat of his own drummer, and had always wanted to work on a farm. “He’d be working on the houses if you’re looking for him.”

  One house was almost complete, and the hull of another had gone up beside it. I’d missed so much in a month. Every day it felt more like a loss. “Any news on Ember? Major’s acting like a pussy, but I plan on driving this bitch out of here. Enough’s enough.”

  “I feel the same way, brother.” Shea shook his head and Delaney slipped her arms around his waist and tug
ged him closer, her disapproval coming through loud and clear. “I’m all for a fight, and we won this round, but they’ve got us by the balls. They’re gonna keep striking until they knock us out. And they’ve got the resources. We can’t fight them from every angle. There’s not enough of us.”

  “What the fuck?” I roared, my words echoing through the farm. “Stop writing your own eulogies. You’ve had a month to come up with a plan, and you’re both throwing up your hands and shrugging. Ember’s laughing her ass off at us. She doesn’t have to fight. You already rolled over and played dead for her.”

  Shea called after me, but I didn’t hear anything he had to say. I didn’t want to. This was bullshit. My brothers never shied away from a fight. This couldn’t be because they have mates. Now that Chandra was in my life, I wanted to fight for our forest harder than ever. We had a chance at a future, and my brothers were willing to let it slip through their fingers.

  Dallas had to agree with me. He’d been attacked, too, and he wouldn’t be satisfied doing what he was told. I found him in front of a sawhorse, cutting beams to place in the house. A small team helped him. I recognized some of the guys—they’d worked here when Ryker held us hostage. They stuck with the Channings when Shadow took over the land. Dallas pushed up his goggles when he saw me.

  “I’ve been meaning to come by the shop.” Dallas held his hand out in greeting.

  This was the guy I needed to talk to. I’d piss Major off, teaming up with Dallas, but everything pissed Major off. I was used to it. “Any word on the Montana contingent?”

  “Ember’s laying low.” Dallas had answers. “I’ve been up to the resort a couple times. The whole pack has taken over the villas. It’s quiet. Too quiet. They dragged her out of the forest. Chances are, she’s still a wolf. All the buzz in town has died. No new buyout offers, no new threats. A part of me thinks I should be happy about it, but the wolf in me knows this is just gonna make it worse.”