The Trouble with Bree (Spotlight #1.5) Read online

  “I’m sorry.” Josh trotted to keep up with me. “I got caught up in the moment.”

  “Please. Don’t be.” I wasn’t mad at him. I was just mad at myself. We got the boys strapped into the little kid swings after I peeled Landon away from the regular ones. He didn’t like it, he had big boy envy so bad, but he wouldn’t like cracking his head open, either. “Are you sure about this? Me? Us?”

  Josh pushed Lucas, and wrinkled his brow. “What are you talking about?”

  “It’s always going to be like this. It’s not ever going to just be us, and the kids don’t ever follow any plan.” That bothered some guys, including their fathers. “It’s fun tonight, but sometimes it’s definitely not fun. I just want to make sure you realize that.”

  “Bree.” Josh gave Lucas a big push and then came over to me, slipping his arm around my waist. I stepped away from Landon’s swing, I only had a couple seconds before my services were called for again. “Stop worrying so much. I know what I’m doing.”

  I reached up and touched his face, running my fingers over the stubble on his cheek. The sensation gave me shivers.

  “Mama!” Landon reprimanded me. Time was up. “Push me!”

  At least one of us knew what we were doing.

  **

  Josh waited for me behind the car as I buckled the boys in. “I had a great time tonight.” I said, nervous as I stepped toward him. The sun had begun to fall, casting shadows over his face. His green eyes still burned bright.

  “I did too. Thanks for letting me hang out with the boys,” he said. I opened my mouth to speak, and he put his finger on my lips. “I’m looking forward to getting to know all of you.” Before I could ruin the moment by saying anything, Josh leaned in and kissed me. At first he just pressed his lips against mine, and I thought that might have been it, but then he pulled my bottom lip with his teeth. As I laughed against his lips, he came inside, softly stroking my tongue. He leaned against the back of my car, and I let myself fall against his body, losing track of everything.

  I could have stayed there all night, kissing Josh against my trunk. Old Bree would have invited him back to the house, and had him spend the night. But everything was different this time. I forced myself to peel away from him. “I’ll see you soon?” I asked.

  He nodded, and if I didn’t make a break for it, I’d repeat every mistake I’d ever made. The boys waved to Josh as we drove away until he faded out of sight.

  There was another car parked in my spot when I got home. I knew exactly who it belonged to, and I braced myself for impact. I parked in a visitor spot, and carried Landon, who’d fallen asleep, in one arm, and held Lucas’ hand with my other.

  “Daddy!” Lucas broke away from me as soon as he saw Troy sitting on the stoop. Troy crushed out his cigarette before Lucas tackled him. I could barely breathe. He may not have left me with any visible scars, but he might as well still have his hand on my throat.

  “Hey, buddy. I missed you.” Bullshit. Troy kissed Lucas on the top of the head and then glared at me. My blood ran cold. “What the fuck, Bree?”

  “Don’t talk like that in front of Lucas.” I brushed by him, opening the door. Troy caught it, and stood up to follow me, carrying Lucas. I didn’t want him to come into the house, but he was holding the ultimate playing card on his hip. “You’re not supposed to be here.”

  Troy laughed, slamming the door behind him. “You stupid bitch, you need to look at a calendar.” I pretended he wasn’t there as I took Landon into the bedroom, taking off his shoes before tucking him in. I kissed him on the forehead and went back to deal with the shitstorm that was about to break out in the living room.

  Valentine’s Day was over six months ago. With everything that had happened with Anthony stealing my wallet, and of course Ev, I’d totally lost track of time. But Troy hadn’t, and time away hadn’t softened his rage. I should have petitioned to have the restraining order renewed before it expired. He had me right where he wanted me.

  “What do you want?” I crossed my arms in front of my chest, standing by Lucas. He’d already started playing with his Legos. Troy sat on the couch like he owned the place, legs wide, elbows on knees, ready to pounce.

  “Where the fuck were you?” He continued his insane interrogation, each word coming out of his mouth like a bullet fired from a gun. If anyone had questions, it should have been me.

  “None of your business.” I hoped he couldn’t see me trembling, because that’s what he wanted. He fed off my fear like most people drank coffee. I realized I left my bag and my phone in the car when I saw he was here. Shit. “You need to go.”

  Troy stood up and got in my face. “I’m not fucking going anywhere until you tell me where you were,” he said through clenched teeth. “I’ve been texting you all night and you ignored me. I want to see my son.”

  “He’s right here.” I glanced down at Lucas, who wasn’t even fazed by this. Then I lifted my chin back up to Troy, refusing to back down. “I took the boys out for dinner and to the park.” This was never going to end if I didn’t answer his questions.

  “Where you getting your money from?” He lunged closer, and laughed when I flinched.

  “Not from you.” He’d never paid me a dime of child support.

  His palm cracked across my cheek hard enough to make me stumble. Lucas wailed as I tripped over the Lego box and fell in the middle of the living room. Troy had never hit me before. He yanked me back up, and I wasn’t ready for it, I slumped against his body and he grasped my shoulders. “Who is he?”

  “Get out.”

  Troy hit me again, and my lip split on impact. But I couldn’t get away from him, his fingernails dug into my arms. Lucas wailed at the sight of blood on my lip. “Look what you did,” he said, like it was me who made Lucas cry.

  “He was perfectly happy before you showed up.” Lucas sobbed at my feet, and I ripped myself free of Troy so I could sink down and hold him. I needed it as bad as he did right now.

  “Fuck you, Bree.” Troy kicked me repeatedly, making sure I knew exactly what he thought of me. I cradled Lucas to make sure none of the blows connected with him. If Lucas wasn’t there, I would have gotten the hell out of there, but I was terrified he’d miss me and kick Lucas by mistake. I was too afraid to send Lucas away for the same reason. Troy had never hurt the kids, at least I didn’t think he ever would. When he got like this, blinded by whatever enraged him, all bets were off.

  Landon ran out of his room, awake now, screaming once he realized what was happening. I knew he wanted to come over to me, and I wasn’t sure I could shield them both. “Go back to your room, baby.”

  He didn’t move. “Mama!”

  “Get out of here.” Troy snarled at Landon. He turned white, still frozen in place. “You little shit.”

  “Don’t you dare talk to him like that!” I screamed.

  Two cop cars pulled up in front of the building. Relief flooded through me. My downstairs neighbor must have called them. Although she wasn’t doing it because she gave a shit about what happened to me, she’d been trying to get me kicked out of here for months.

  “You have company,” I said through gritted teeth. He’d kicked me in the same spot about six times and it hurt like hell. “Let the cops in.”

  “You called the fucking cops?” He grabbed a handful of my hair, pulling me up to his face.

  “No. But they’re here,” I gasped, breathing heavily to not give into the pain. Mashing his lips together, he slapped me again before letting go of me. I fell in a heap on top of Lucas. It was out of my hands now. The police were banging on the door, demanding to be let in.

  The cops were familiar with me, with Troy, and they didn’t have to ask that many questions. My bloody face and hysterical sons told them everything they needed to know. Once they cuffed Troy and dragged him out of the apartment, one of the officers sat down beside me in the middle of the living room floor.

  “I know you,” I said as I wiped the tears away from my eyes. Now
that Troy was gone, it was safe to cry. “You brought me and my friend to the hospital last week.” This guy was like my guardian angel.

  He nodded, looking so sad. “That wasn’t your sister, was it? I was sorry to hear she didn’t make it.”

  “No. My friend’s sister. And thank you. Again.”

  “What happened tonight? Does that guy live here?”

  Lucas had finally calmed down, but he still pressed his little body against me. Landon had come over to us, sobbing. My poor babies. They shouldn’t have had to see any of that. Ever. “No. I had a restraining order against him, but it expired.”

  “You’re going to fix that?” the officer asked as he filled out his report and I nodded. “Do you think you’re going to press charges?”

  “Yes.” I didn’t hesitate. There was a time that I wouldn’t have been able to stand up to Troy.

  “Who’s this guy?” The officer motioned to Lucas, who buried his head against my shoulder. “Is he okay?”

  “This is Lucas. His son.” I motioned toward the slider, where the lights from the cruisers still whirred red and blue shadows over the room. Troy’s head bobbed in silhouette in the back seat of the cruiser. “That’s why I can’t totally break ties with him. But he wasn’t supposed to be here tonight.”

  I double locked the door behind the officer when he finally left, and slumped against it. Landon came up to me, hugging my legs. “Are you okay, Mama?”

  “I am. How about you?” He nodded against my thigh. I winced, a bruise was blossoming in that spot and it hurt like hell. I was still shaking when I crouched down to hug him back. “I have an idea. Wanna sleep in Mama’s bed tonight? I’ll read you guys some stories?”

  Landon smiled and nodded, and I sent him off to get some books while I cleaned myself up. My cheek was swelling, and my entire thigh was turning purple. My head was pounding, but my heart hurt the worst.

  Once I stop shaking enough to concentrate on the words, I read to the boys until they fell asleep. I lay awake, terrified that Troy was going to come back, even though I was pretty sure he would be spending the night in jail. Even things like that didn’t go as planned. One of his friends could bail him out, or they could decide they didn’t need to keep him overnight. Troy had never acted like that before. Controlling, demeaning, and unreasonable, but besides the night he tried to choke me, he’d never raised a hand to me. And I was going to do everything I could to make damn sure he never did again.

  Chapter Eight

  “Have you ever been to the waterfront festival?” Josh called me the next night. “I was thinking of checking it out.”

  “Oh yeah?” I tried to keep my voice even. I didn’t want Josh to see me like this. My whole body ached, and more bruises had bloomed overnight. It wasn’t just because I looked bad. I was ashamed of what happened. That anyone had so little respect for me. That I lost control so quickly. That I didn’t stand up for myself in front of my boys.

  He hadn’t actually invited me, but I knew that’s what he was hinting at. I needed to come up with an excuse, fast. “I’ve heard it’s really crowded, and kind of expensive.”

  “It would be my treat, if that’s what you’re worried about.” He knew something was up. Damn it. I didn’t say anything. “What’s wrong, Bree?”

  “Nothing.” I said too quickly. “I don’t want you to waste your money.”

  “It wouldn’t be a waste of money.” His words were slow, confused. “I had a really good time last night.”

  “I did too.” It now seemed something that happened to someone else compared to what happened to me once I got home.

  “Do you want to do something else? You don’t seem to be into the festival.”

  “Not really.” I panicked. “I just want to chill. It’s been a rough week.”

  “Okay.” He sounded so disappointed, and I almost changed my mind, but I just couldn’t see him right now. I got off the phone with him so fast I’m not even sure if I said goodbye.

  The boys were exhausted too, they’d been restless all night in their sleep. None of us got out of our pajamas today, we’d all spent the day cuddled on the couch, watching movies.

  Landon hadn’t asked any questions yet, and I knew I had to say something about last night, I just wasn’t sure what. I didn’t know how to explain that he wasn’t in danger without making it sound like what happened was okay.

  I jumped off the couch cushion when someone knocked on the door, pulling the boys in closer to me. We weren’t expecting company. I had no idea what had gotten into Troy last night, and I didn’t know if he’d come back to finish whatever he’d hoped to accomplish. Daisy always called or texted before coming over, so most likely, it was Kim from downstairs coming to bitch me out over my life choices. She was late this time. I’d actually expected her to come up last night.

  Whoever it was had no plans of going away, they knocked again, a little harder this time. I lifted Lucas from my lap and went to face the music.

  “What the hell happened to you?” The look on Josh’s face almost made me break down all over again. Instead of answering him, I stepped aside so he could come in.

  “Josh!” Both of the boys’ faces lit up, and Landon jumped up off the couch to greet him. Josh crouched down to talk to Landon, and I flopped back down on the couch.

  “Are you okay?” Josh asked once he got the boys resettled.

  “I wasn’t ready to see anyone yet.” I stared at the movie but didn’t see it. “I’m fine.”

  “No, you’re not.” Josh slid off the couch and kneeled down in front of me, taking my hand in his. “I’m sorry I just came over, but I knew something wasn’t right when I talked to you.”

  “My ex was here when we got back last night.” I still couldn’t look at Josh while I spoke, even though he was right in front of me. “And he went crazy.”

  “He hit you.” Josh’s tone dropped, cold and hard. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see him shake his head, disgusted. I rolled up my pajamas so he could see my thigh in its angry purple glory. “Jesus. Did you call the cops?”

  “They came.” I hated that I was being short with Josh. Any time I had to talk about this kind of thing, I got defensive. “He’s Lucas’ dad.”

  “That doesn’t make it okay.” Josh climbed back up on the couch, but still held my hand. “Does this happen a lot?”

  “No. We hadn’t seen him in months. I’d had a restraining order against him. I’m going to apply for a new one tomorrow. I wasn’t up to it today.”

  “Is there anything I can do?” Josh rubbed this thumb along the outside of my hand. “I’m so sorry this happened to you.”

  “Now you understand why I have cold feet.” It felt so natural to put my head on his shoulder. Josh welcomed me, sliding his hand around my waist. “I can’t have the boys thinking that’s okay.”

  “No. It’s not okay.” His words were clipped. “Have you ever talked to anyone about it?”

  “You mean, like a counselor?” Josh nodded against the top of my head. “Yeah, on and off, but I always leave feeling worse.” Kind of like I was now.

  “Then you didn’t talk to the right person.”

  A familiar wall went up. “See? Like that.” I sighed, sitting up and pulling away from him. “I’ve made a lot of mistakes, but I’m doing the best I can.”

  “I’m not judging you, Bree.” Josh tried to smile, but it was more that look of pity that I hated. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

  The boys weren’t paying any attention to us. Lucas was still totally enthralled in the movie, and Landon had started to play with his army guys on the floor. “I’m not sure I’m ready for this.”

  “Ready for what?” Josh’s brow furrowed in confusion. “To be happy? To not be treated like a punching bag? You deserve better than that.”

  “So I deserve you?” I hated the words as they came out of my mouth, but I was so used to pushing people away when they tried to ‘fix’ me I didn’t know how to stop.

  Josh c
losed his eyes and took a deep breath. “My mother had a boyfriend like Troy.” His face darkened again and he wrung his hands together in his lap. “He beat her to death.”

  “Jesus.” Cold swept over my body. Every time I saw Troy things got worse. What would have happened last night if the police hadn’t come? “I’m so sorry.”

  “It didn’t start off like that for her either, and it took him a long time to actually kill her. She made excuses for him, gave him chances. Things kept getting worse. Finally, she tried to leave him, and that sent him over the edge. I was eleven when it happened, old enough to understand what was going on.” Josh’s eyes glazed over, but he didn’t cry. There came a point where the tears didn’t help anymore. "I don’t want that to happen to you, Bree.”

  “It won’t.” But before last night, I would have never thought Troy was capable of hitting me, either. “But I’m not sure I’m ready for anything right now.”

  I didn’t think Josh could look any sadder. “I understand.” He squeezed my hand.

  “That doesn’t mean I want you to go.” I couldn’t let him leave. If he did, he might not come back. “I don’t know what I want right now, but I’m terrified I’m going to lose you.”

  “You’re not going to lose me.” Josh’s face brightened as he smiled. “We’ll just figure it out as we go along.”

  Chapter Nine

  “Josh slept over?” Landon asked me as I made breakfast. We’d fallen asleep on the couch, my head on his chest, watching movies and hardly talking after the kids went to bed.

  I’d woken up a few times during the night, and I should have gone into my own bed. But I didn’t want Josh to follow me in there. At least on the couch I knew we’d just sleep. All bets were off in the bedroom. And with his arms around me, listening to his heartbeat, I felt safe. Today was the day I had to deal with Troy and I needed every advantage I could get.

  I cringed. “Yes, he did.” Josh had left early, having to get to work, and I didn’t think the boys saw him. I should’ve known better, Landon knew everything. Someday, the CIA would be happy to have him.