Secondhand Heart Read online

  “I am having fun.”

  “You can sit on your ass and drink beer at home. Come on.” She pulled me through the crowd and Bree did her best to keep up. Her head was on a swivel and every couple of seconds she said something about hot. “You ladies are VIP tonight. If you’re going to sit in the corner, at least sit in the right section.”

  Bree banged on my back with excitement. This human pinball game of a party was so up her ally. I wondered if there was a deck outside. That would be more my speed.

  The VIP section wasn’t as packed as the regular area, so it was a little quieter. We didn’t have to scream at each other. Ev brought us over to a booth with a paper tent that said reserved. Bree and I hesitated, not realizing it was for us. “You don’t have to pay for drinks in this section tonight, either.”

  “Why the hell didn’t you say anything sooner?” I asked her. Free drinks? Now this night was looking up, even if free beer meant I’d be hurting tomorrow.

  “You two took off.” Ev rolled her eyes. I made a face at her, since it was totally the other way around.

  The lights went down, and the crowd went wild and swarmed the stage. The VIP section was to the right of the stage, and elevated just enough that we could see everything perfectly. A cover band had opened the show, but Cam Hunter was headlining his grand opening celebration.

  Ev and Bree cheered when Cam came onstage, so I did too, more to be polite. He was picking up my bar tab tonight, after all. I’d never met Cam in person. I’d only heard Ev rave about him and of course I’d seen him on TV. He was taller than I expected, his broad shoulders straining the fabric of his blue and orange plaid shirt. I know, the shirt sounds hideous, but it actually looked hot on him. Bree’d said it enough tonight, I was thinking like her now. He wore the top few buttons open, showing just a hint of his tan chest. I couldn’t see his eyes under the brim of his white cowboy hat, but his sandy hair curled around the collar of the shirt. He opened the show with his biggest hit, Lonely Heart Saloon, in case you were wondering where he got the name for the bar. I found myself staring at his lips as he sang the words of the song, watching them move in front of the microphone, wondering what those lips would feel like on my skin.

  I shook myself back to reality, watching Ev and Bree singing along, and I was the last thing on their mind. Turning back to the stage, I forced myself to look anywhere but Cam’s mouth. Only being able to see the lower part of his face drove me crazy. What was hiding behind those eyes? Were they laughing, twinkling? Hell, I didn’t even know what color they were, and suddenly, I needed to know.

  Look away from his face. Jesus Christ. The faded denim made his thighs look amazing. Who the hell checked out thighs? Well, if you saw these thighs, they were worth checking out. On The Spotlight, Cam had been an overgrown, almost goofy kid, playing a role. Doing what he was told. Now, on this tiny stage just feet away from us in this club, it was obvious he was all man. All smoking hot man.

  When Cam said good night and thanked us all for coming, I was surprised how disappointed I felt. I’d been so lost in watching him play, not only his guitar, but teasing the fans in the front row by dipping down low, those delicious thighs spread wide and staying just out of their reach, his fingers brushing their fingertips, I got so lost in my own fantasies that I forgot all about time.

  After the show, my skin was all tingly and strange. Cam had awakened something inside of me I hadn’t even known was sleeping. But at the same time, it felt wrong. I shouldn’t be thinking that way about any man, yet. My husband hadn’t been dead a year.

  But I wasn’t dead.

  This was safe, lusting after some musician who didn’t know I even existed. No harm could come of it. Cam had built his entire career off of people wanting to be him or be with him. It was a fantasy, nothing more.

  The crowd had thinned out after the show, but since this was an Ev production, we were closing down the place. Bree babbled about the show, the songs I didn’t know. “Cam’s record company didn’t renew his contract. Can you believe that shit? So maybe he’ll be playing here all the time.”

  If life could even be that kind. “It is his bar, so that would make sense. Cheap labor.” I giggled at my own joke. Beer made me hilarious. I thought so anyway.

  “I read online that he’s thinking of taking a new direction with his music. Collaborating with some new songwriters and stuff,” Bree continued. “Maybe we’ll get to hear it first.”

  Ev had disappeared again, to the mysterious backstage area. She came back out with a huge grin on her face.

  And Cam following her.

  Holy shit, she was bringing him over to us. Bree started hyperventilating and squeezing my arm. “Calm down,” I hissed. “You’re going to break a bone. I can’t act cool if my arm is dangling below my elbow.”

  “How can you even joke at a time like this? Oh my God, here he is.” Bree let go of my arm, and blood resumed flowing semi normally. I didn’t know what to say to him.

  “Oh my God, I love you.” Bree’s teeth could never catch all the thoughts that came rambling out of her brain, even if she wasn’t at least three beers deep.

  Cam took it in stride. “I love you, too.” He took her hand in his, and brought it up to his mouth and kissed it. Bree gave an Oscar worthy performance and did not faint.

  “And this is my sister, Daisy.” Ev brought his attention to me.

  His eyes were blue.

  The kind of blue that jumped out against his tan skin, almost perfectly matched with his shirt. Somehow, my hand landed in his, I only knew because the electricity that danced along my skin.

  “Evey’s told me all about you.” Nobody called my sister Evey anymore. It surprised me, and I liked it. I missed her being Evey. One side of his mouth went up higher than the other when he smiled, and the skin around his eyes crinkled at the corners. I knew too much time had passed for me to reply, but my brain kept short circuiting every time I tried.

  “Not everything.” Ev bumped into him playfully. “You know, Daisy’s been looking for a job—“

  “No, I haven’t.” What the hell was she doing?

  Her mouth dropped, and she shot me a look as if she couldn’t believe I could be so stupid. “Do you have a job?”

  “No.”

  “So, as I was saying, my sister could use a job.” Ev rocked back and forth on her heels and batted her eyelashes at Cam. “You still hiring here?”

  She totally caught Cam off guard. Great. “I’m sure we could make room for you, Daisy.” His smile made me melt, and almost forget I wanted to kill Ev. I liked the way my name sounded coming out of his mouth. “Why don’t you come in tomorrow for an interview?”

  “Okay.” I think I squeaked. Ev, satisfied with mortifying me, moved in closer to Cam and continued chatting with him. He kept looking over at me, probably trying to figure out if I’d make a good bar back or dishwasher.

  And he still held my hand.

  “I’ve got to go. It was nice talking to you ladies.” He bowed his head and squeezed my hand one last time before he let go. “Daisy, let’s say, one tomorrow?”

  I nodded, then watched him walk away and join another group. I know you’re wondering how his ass looked. Amazing.

  I whacked Ev. “What the hell were you thinking? ‘Daisy needs a job.’ Daisy does not need a fucking job.”

  She rubbed her arm where I hit her. It probably stung, considering her sunburn. “I had to do something!”

  “Why? Is mom bitching that I’m a useless excuse for a human being?” All this because I made fun of those stupid shakes? They put pretzels in them and pretended they were health food. How could I expected to keep my mouth shut about that? “Or was it because I slept until noon today? It’s Saturday, Ev. I slept in. No big deal.”

  “No. I did it because he was looking at you like you were the Mona Lisa or something.”

  “He was?”

  “Yeah. He totally was,” Bree piped in. “It was hot.”

  Holy shit.

&n
bsp; “What if Cam Hunter actually wants to date you?” Bree asked, making it sound as preposterous as it really was. “You’d be in magazines and everything. I wonder where he lives. He’s got to live around here, if he’s going to be at the bar all the time.”

  All of us had been giddy after our Cam encounter, and now that we were almost home, it was starting to wear off for me. It was replaced with the nausea of, Oh My God, I’m going to have to do something about this, in like twelve hours. The interview. That wasn’t real, was it? Without the safety of his beer goggles, he’d probably run for the hills.

  “I’m sure he was just trying to be nice,” I countered. And all that attention sounded like my worst nightmare. “Since Ev put him on the spot.”

  “You’re welcome.” Ev smiled at me in the rear view mirror. “Just see what he’s got to say.”

  “If you don’t want to find out how nice he is, I’ll go see what he has to say.” Bree double dog dared me. “I can think of a few ways I could help him out.”

  “Fine, I’ll go.” My stomach lurched. Why couldn’t either of them see what a horrible idea this was?

  Everyone was sleeping over at my house tonight. Ev wasn’t going to head back to Boston this late, and my mom had put the boys to bed in the guest room, so it made sense for Bree to stay and take them home in the morning. Just like when we were kids, Ev and Bree made up beds on my bedroom floor. None of us could stop giggling. Maybe it was the blanket forts, maybe it was the beer. Maybe it was the first glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel we’d had in a long time.

  “I have something to tell you girls.” Ev sat cross legged under her blankets, in her satin vintage cami and tap pant pajama set. She rang her hands in her lap. “I’ve been waiting for the right time to say something.”

  “Are you pregnant?” Bree asked.

  Ev’s face lit up, and her shoulders relaxed. “Yeah. I am.”

  I jumped off the bed to hug my sister, ignoring the sinking feeling in my belly. Bree grabbed whatever part of her I hadn’t covered. We all rocked back and forth, a big pig pile.

  “That’s awesome,” I said as I pulled away. She’d been pregnant once before, and miscarried. Babies in our family didn’t always have it easy. “Tell me everything.”

  “Well, I’m four months along. I didn’t want to tell anyone until I got through the first trimester. Things are looking real good so far.”

  “Do you know what you’re having?” My favorite part of the whole thing.

  “I hope it’s a girl,” Bree chimed in. “I’m already claiming her for Lucas.”

  “Not until next month.” Ev’s hand instinctively fell to her belly, and rubbed it softly. “We’re keeping an extra good eye on everything, and I have to be really careful. But that’s not all of my news.”

  “What the hell else could you have to tell us that’s better than a baby?” I pulled away from her a little and wrinkled my nose, having a feeling I knew exactly what was coming.

  “Roger and I are getting married.” Ev stopped to study my face as I tried to keep it from falling. Bree squealed, forgetting herself, then covered her mouth to shove the rest of it back in. “I really want you to be my Maid of Honor, Daisy.”

  The hyperventilating started and I pulled away from Ev, embarrassed. I squeezed my eyes shut, so I wasn’t sure which one of them was hugging me. They knew I wouldn’t hug them back. I needed to get my shit together. None of this was going away, whether I was ready to handle it or not.

  I opened my eyes, and it was Bree hanging on to me, patting my hair like she would with one of her kids who had a bad dream. Ev looked so sad, and it crushed my heart all over again. I started nodding before I could speak. “I’d love to. More than anything.”

  “Are you sure?” Ev whispered as tears stained her cheeks. Shit. I’d made her cry. “I know it’s a lot, so soon.”

  I shook my head. “It’s going to be awesome.” And then I smiled like I believed it.

  Ev reached in and hugged me, the pig pile had reunited. We all rocked back and forth for a couple of minutes. “If it’s too much, you just let me know—“

  “And what? You won’t have a Maid of Honor? That would make me the shittiest sister ever.”

  Bree sat up and pouted. “No one has said anything about bridesmaids.” She crossed her arms in front of her.

  “Duh. Because you obviously are one.” Ev shook her head and laughed.

  Bree clapped. “Yay! I can’t wait. And Daisy, I will help you with everything. I promise. I can’t keep a baby daddy around to save my life, so this might be my only chance to plan a wedding.”

  I swallowed hard, and made myself think about spoiling Ev’s baby rotten. Anytime that feeling came, the one that made me feel like I was looking through someone else’s eyes at the world, I forced myself to think about something good. It almost kept the anxiety at bay. “Have you thought about what you want to do?”

  “We want to get married before the baby comes,” Ev said. “It’s not going to be a huge thing. I really just want to do it here.”

  “Here? At the house?” Like when I married Jordan?

  “That’s what I was thinking.” Ev looked down, knowing exactly what she was doing to me. “It’s want I want, Daisy.”

  “Maybe you could have Cam play at the reception.” Bree’s mind only had one track. I couldn’t decide if I wanted to hug her or strangle her.

  “That’s a good idea. Cam is my client.” So he wasn’t paying her, either. “Just close friends, family. The stuff that matters.”

  “I’m so happy for you!” Bree threw her arms around Ev. So many thoughts danced around my brain like it was a boxing ring. Was I envious because she could get my happily ever after, or was I afraid her backyard wedding was going to end like mine? Those who don’t learn from history were doomed to repeat it. That’s why I had to spend my summer learning about American Government instead of playing beach volleyball.

  Ev looked at me over Bree’s shoulder, like she had so much to say but there just weren’t words to do it justice. I nodded, she was my sister, and we didn't always need to speak out loud to understand each other. I was going to do my best, but I didn’t know if I was ready to plan a wedding.

  The girls left early. Toddlers wake up at the crack of dawn, no matter how much you had to drink the night before or how late you stayed up talking with your best friends. And Ev needed to catch the train back to Boston. She had something planned with Roger that sounded dreadful.

  As soon as Ev tiptoed out and closed the door, I rolled over and shut off my alarm. There was no way in hell I was going for an interview with Cam Hunter.

  I had a ton of homework I’d been ignoring, being my birthday week and all, so once I actually did wake up, I made myself an iced coffee and headed out to the back yard to get to work. I prayed that Ev didn’t say anything to my mother about that farce of an interview. If Mom did ask, I’d just tell her it was another day, and then she’d be so wrapped up in shake parties and Zumba she’d forget all about it.

  My phone started vibrating at quarter of two. Ev. She probably wanted to know how the interview went. I hit ignore. Nothing to see here, people. Keep moving. She kept calling, and I kept hitting the little red button. Finally, she got the hint, and texted.

  I know you’re hitting ignore. And I know you didn’t go.

  Fuck. I stared at the message for a minute, and considered ignoring it, too. Instead, I faced the music and called her back. She wasn’t going to leave me alone.

  “You’re kidding, right? You blew him off?” She was already mid rant when she answered the phone.

  “I didn’t want to waste his time.” Or mine, for that matter. I’m sure he’d had plenty of second thoughts, too. If he’d even remembered he’d made the appointment.

  “So you stood him up?” Ev’s voice was shrill. “Cam just called and asked if you were all right. And now I look like an idiot.”

  “First of all, there is no way that some reality show star is interested in
me.” The whole thing seemed even more ridiculous when it was no longer bathed in a beer haze. “And I’ve never worked in a restaurant.”

  “You don’t know what he wanted,” Ev protested. “And it’s not like you can’t learn something new.”

  “I am learning new things. I’m concentrating on my classes.” Sort of.

  “Bullshit. You’re hiding.” My sister could call me out in a way everyone else was too polite to do. “I rescheduled your interview for three. You can thank me later. And so help me God, if you don’t show up this time---“

  “You’ll make me wear an ugly bridesmaids’ dress?” I cracked myself up, even though I was pissed at her for actually making me go through with this.

  “The absolute worst. Think eighties prom. In fluorescent yellow. You will look sallow as fuck.”

  “I’m almost tempted to see if you can actually find such a monstrosity. Remember, the pictures are forever.” Both of us died laughing. “Fine, I’ll go. But—“

  “But what?”

  I sighed. I had nothing. “I don’t know. I might want to wear that dress now, just because.”

  “Be careful what you wish for. And I want all the details.” Just to make sure she got the last word in, Ev hung up on me.

  I still hadn’t showered, and I had an hour before my presence was expected at The Lonely Heart Saloon. I left the house with damp hair, but I did put some makeup on. I resisted the temptation to wear my pajamas. Instead I went with denim shorts and a pink V-necked T-shirt.

  The hostess didn’t seem to believe I had an appointment with the boss. To be polite, she led me back to the office and announced my arrival. She didn’t bother to hide her surprise when Cam welcomed me in. I didn’t blame her. If I were her, I would’ve been rooting for some knockdown, drag out, stalker drama, too. Got to spice up the lull between lunch and dinner somehow.

  Cam lounged with his legs up on the couch, his outfit almost mirroring mine, a faded red T-shirt and shorts. He placed the guitar in his lap on the floor, and got up to greet me.