Trained by the Rogue Wolf Page 3
“Because my wolf keeps telling me to stay close to you.”
“I don’t want you to deny who you are because of me,” I said. He’d resent me. Maybe someday I could run with him. Come on, wolf. Anytime you want to start talking to me would be awesome.
Nothing.
“I’d never ignore my wolf. He’s the one telling me to stay.”
“What else is he telling you?” I turned around and walked into the bedroom, fully aware that he’d follow me. The tension tasted like whiskey on my tongue. Spicy and forbidden.
He stood in the doorway, but there was a barrier between us. Shifter and human. Two different worlds. “You’ll shift.”
I shoved the blankets at him. “And what will that change?”
He lowered his gaze. His thick, dark lashes cast shadows on his face. He was rugged, but beautiful. Like he’d been carved out of ice and came to life.
When he looked back up at me, those eyes were like steel. Nothing but strength and armor. One day, I’d crack it and he’d let me inside.
“Everything,” he said.
**
Matteo wasn’t on our flight back to Alaska, he hadn’t been at Jasmine’s apartment this morning, and I was left to suffer the effects of a sugar crash and something much worse. In the last twenty-four hours, everything in my life changed, but I’d stayed the same.
“Want to help me pick the Werewives for next season?” Mom asked, snapping me out of my funk. I’d been staring out the window, hoping to catch a glimpse of Matteo in his wolf form before we were whisked away from Idaho. The probability of that happening was ridiculously low, but I’d planned to dream about it all the way back to Alaska. Of course, my brain was all too willing to add in the part when he shifted back to human and wanted me.
I kept trying to picture if I’d been a wolf too. But there was nothing. Matteo could see something in me that I couldn’t see in myself and it was absolutely maddening.
Mom frowned when I turned to her. I couldn’t tell her how badly I wanted to shift, because she was human. She’d assure me that I was perfect just the way I was, but there was this piece of me that had fallen into blackness and I was desperate to find it.
“Sure.” If I couldn’t figure out my own love life, I was happy to help complicate someone else’s. “Have you ever had a shifter woman on the show?”
“Not intentionally.” Mom laughed. “Fiona Fox crashed one of our events, and there was no way I was letting her walk away without a contract. Have you met her yet? The two of you could cook up some trouble.”
I liked her already. “She sounds like fun.”
“She’s a handful, and I’m sure I’ll regret this introduction, but you’ll love her.” Mom shook her head. “There’s a spot on the application that asks if they’re a shifter, and I’ve never had an applicant check yes. I wish we would get some. It would make for a really interesting dynamic.”
Mom opened a file called Prospective Werewives, and everyone who’d applied for season two had been added to a spreadsheet. Headshots and bios. She moved the laptop so it straddled our tray tables.
“I’ll let you scroll through. Let me know if anyone sticks out to you. For good or bad reasons. It wouldn’t be good TV if they were all perfect matches,” she said with a chuckle.
“What about me?” My muscles tensed with the suggestion. If I was anyone but Tessa Williams’ daughter, I could have sent in an application. “I think I have what it takes to be a Real Werewife.”
“Jessica.” I totally expected that sigh. It was the same one she’d given me when I told her I forgot to put my first car in park and drove it through the garage door or the semester I failed chemistry in high school. Like she was disappointed that I didn’t do better. Which didn’t make any sense in this context. This was her show. “You’re putting too much pressure on yourself.”
“I’m an actress,” I reminded her. “It makes more sense for me to be in front of the camera than behind the scenes. This could be my big break.”
Mom gave me that look that women only became capable of giving after giving birth. The raised eyebrow, calling total bullshit on my claim. This wasn’t like her. She’d been supportive of my passions, even if she couldn’t attend my performances in person. Jasmine would always be in the front row, representing, recording everything for her and Dad to watch when they got home.
“I don’t understand why you’ve created this crazy successful TV show around women finding shifter mates, but when it comes to your own daughters, you don’t want them to come within fifty feet of a shifter. Let alone mate.”
“I want you and your sister to be happy beyond your wildest dreams.” She snapped the laptop closed. No Werewives were finding love on this flight. “I didn’t know what I wanted when I was eighteen. I thought I wanted to be a personal trainer. I loved fitness and sports and wanted to be around it. Only by pursuing that passion was I led to sports reporting and your dad. When I say I think you’re putting too much pressure on yourself, it’s because everyone’s always considered you the alpha twin, to speak in shifter terms. You’re trying to live up to that reputation. Jasmine’s shift doesn’t change who you are.”
Mom never shied away from real talk.
“Of course it doesn’t,” I said.
“You haven’t been acting like yourself since she shifted.” Another Mom truth bomb. I thought I’d done a much better job keeping it together on the outside when on the inside, I was desperate for a sign that I’d shift too. Matteo claimed he could sense it, but here I was, searching for my own wolf like a buried treasure waiting for someone to hand me the map marked with the big red X. “I’m glad to have you here, but I never expected you to take the semester off. I’m worried if you rush into finding a mate, you’ll cut yourself off from doing everything you want.”
“Mates are fated,” I reminded her. “If he’s not meant to be mine forever, he won’t choose me.”
I instantly thought of Matteo. If he really was my mate, wouldn’t he have awakened my wolf? I should know. All he left me with was a bunch of confusion and so many sexy thoughts. Now that I knew what those silver eyes looked like in low bedroom light, I wanted them to wash over my bare skin when he brought me crashing over the edge of my own reality.
“If he’s truly your mate, he’ll wait for you until you’re ready for him.”
Chapter Four
Matteo
Never in my wildest dreams did I think I’d be preparing to play in the CFA Championship. It wasn’t only my body I had to get into top physical condition. I had to get my head out of the clouds and into the game.
Never did I expect that a she-wolf would be enough to distract me from getting that ring. Instead of seeing X’s and O’s and the newest defensive schemes when I closed my eyes, I saw a redheaded goddess standing in the doorway of a bedroom that didn’t belong to her, her magic highlighted by the streetlights below. Only for me to see. Trapped in her human reality, she couldn’t see it herself.
It’s not your responsibility to help her find her wolf, my own animal snarled. Especially not this week.
A streak of good luck had made the beast inside me arrogant as fuck. He’d all but forgotten what it felt like to feel lost, to have everything he knew stolen from him, and to desperately want to belong somewhere. Anywhere. I’d get humbled fast with an attitude like that. The next game might be on the biggest stage possible, but it would also be my last, unless Coach decided to offer me a place on the team next year.
That’s why you need to focus, my wolf reminded me. This is your last shot.
Every time I stepped on the field was my last shot. I was only as good as my last play.
“Coach told us you went to connect with your brother.” Sebastian Connall came up beside my locker. He was a rookie this season too, and was having a breakout year at linebacker. “How’d it go?”
I’d kept to myself since joining the team a couple weeks ago. I was the guy who walked on out of nowhere, and I planned to prove I be
longed here on the field.
“Good.” I didn’t know him well enough to tell him that the meeting left me with more questions than answers. Not only about Marcus, but about Jessica. My wolf could sense that she was back in Alaska. “Wound up officiating his mating ceremony.”
“Nice.” Sebastian chuckled. “We were all rooting for you. I know what it’s like to be the new guy, agonizing over every mistake. And I know what it’s like to be estranged from my pack. Glad it all worked out for you. But I wanted to make sure you knew that this pack, the Bloodhounds, have your back.”
“For another week, at least,” I said as I closed my locker.
Sebastian shook his head. “Coach likes you. You saved our asses this postseason. We wouldn’t be playing in the Championship game without you. That kind of performance gets rewarded.”
“Fox isn’t coming back next season.”
“That’s because it’s time for his old ass to battle from the sidelines,” Sebastian laughed. “You don’t have to worry about that. If, by some miracle, you don’t get offered a contract here, the rest of the teams in the CFA will be fighting tooth and nail to get you.”
“Thanks. I’m used to considering myself the underdog.” Literally. “But I’d really like to keep playing here in Alaska.”
“Everyone told me not to come here. That an all-shifter team would be the laughingstock of the league.” He shook his head. “Who’s laughing now? Here’s another piece of advice. Get hooked up with one of the Real Werewives. I’m telling you, that show is our secret weapon.”
He turned and walked away before I had a chance to ask him anything else about it. I knew he had a mate. His locker proudly displayed multiple pictures of the pink-haired beauty. Some of the guys bitched about the camera crews following them everywhere, which I got a taste of when I went to visit Marcus in Idaho—the crew that filmed the animal adoptions was affiliated with The Real Werewives of Alaska—but no one complained about reaping the rewards.
I was alone in the locker room. I made sure to work longer and harder than everyone else. I liked having time by myself to savor this feeling, to take in the facility, and to absorb the traditions of the team. Sebastian wasn’t the only one with a picture of his mate on his locker. Photos of women, men, and kids smiled back at me. This team had roots much deeper than on the field.
What the fuck did I have? A couple of packmates that would spend the rest of their lives hiding and a brother I barely knew anymore.
Maybe I would sign up for The Real Werewives of Alaska next season. If I was still here.
Don’t. My wolf was fucking grumpy today. You won’t find your mate on a TV show.
I had a feeling I’d already found her.
And it was time to figure out if that feeling was real. If we shared more than tension in passing. If it was more than a pity party over our siblings falling in love with each other. If I was offered a contract next year with the Bloodhounds, I wanted to hang a picture of my own redheaded mate on my locker and show her off to the world.
Jessica was somewhere in Holiday Falls. Problem was, I had no idea how to find her. We didn’t exchange information. The last morning we were together in Idaho, I left my brother’s apartment early to run in Sawtooth forest in my wolf form and when I returned, she was gone.
She probably thought I didn’t want to see her, which was the furthest thing from the truth. My wolf had a hard time being so close to her. That, and my brother and his new mate had kept me up all night. Not on purpose. I doubted they realized anyone else existed. I needed to run.
Now I was left with unfinished business and an insatiable craving for something I couldn’t quite define.
There was always a crowd outside Ocho, the tiny restaurant owned by Landon Fox’s mate and the unofficial hangout of the Alaska Bloodhounds. Fans gathered hoping to catch a glimpse of their favorite players, and it didn’t escape me that just weeks ago, I would’ve been standing with them on the other side of the police tape. Sports and entertainment reporters liked to hang out here, in case a new story broke or there was a hint of a love connection.
Did I want my life to be breaking news, after spending so many years scaling the shadows?
“Finally got sick of boiled chicken and broccoli?” Tyler Jones, our backup quarterback, clapped his hand on my shoulder when I walked in. The restaurant was standing room only and he led me over to the bar. Bloodhounds occupied all the stools. “Say goodbye to the prepped meals. Jenna will ruin you for any other food.”
There were several pizzas on the bar, and I was invited to grab a slice. It was loaded with meat and veggies and was the best thing I’d tasted in a long time. My cooking skills were strictly utilitarian. Something I needed to survive.
As I joined this Championship run celebration, I realized I was ready for so much more than that.
“I’m surprised you’re here without your mate,” I said.
“There’s no controlling Fiona.” Tyler laughed. “She’s in the corner with her new friend. Who happens to be Tessa Williams’ daughter. Can you believe it? The guys are taking bets on who’s gonna claim her as their mate.”
The only sound I could hear was my wolf howling inside me. He was so loud I expected everything in the restaurant to come to a screeching halt. But no one else heard it.
No one except for the redheaded goddess sitting at the corner table. She’d turned away from her new friend, her pretty lips parted in an O, all but begging for me to kiss her uncertainty away. Those unblinking eyes were even bluer in the cold Alaska night.
Last week, I’d run an interception back almost a hundred yards for a touchdown but the walk across this tiny restaurant held more on the line. My heart thundered. I was a man on the outside, but inside, I was all wolf.
Jessica’s friend—Tyler said his mate’s name was Fiona—gave me a mischievous smile. “It’s the new guy. And the new girl. I’m sensing a theme here, so don’t mind me if I go check on Tyler.” She slid out of the booth and winked at me.
“Mind if I sit?” I asked.
“Not at all.” Jessica’s gaze followed me as I settled into the booth. We’d barely said anything to each other, but the stakes had been raised when we left the lower forty-eight. “I was hoping I’d see you here.”
“First time I’ve come.” And it was lucky. I tore my gaze away from the beautiful woman in front of me to momentarily acknowledge that we had an audience. “I’ve been concentrating on getting ready for the Championship.”
“Yeah, it’s all everyone here is focused on,” she said. “For good reason. I wish there was something I could do besides cheer you on.”
“Maybe there is.” I leaned forward, desperate to touch her. All that time together, with her sleeping in the next room, and my fingers had yet to brush against her skin. “You can help me train.”
She licked her lips and took a deep breath. “How? I know the game, but I’ve never played.”
“Run with me. In the woods.”
She lowered her gaze, but only for a moment. “I can’t do that.”
“Not as a wolf. Just as you are.”
She narrowed her eyes and steeled herself. “Okay, rookie. I’ll run with you. But I want you to do something for me too.”
Anything. My wolf was ready to agree to all her terms. “What’s that?”
“If you sense my wolf, let me know. She’s talking to you more than she’s talking to me.”
I couldn’t imagine not having any contact with my wolf, even when he was a pain in my ass. “Patience, my little wolf. Soon she’ll tell you everything you need to know.”
Chapter Five
Jessica
Every time Matteo called me Little Wolf a chill went down my spine, like he brushed his fingers against my soul. I didn’t think he was being dismissive. He was the only one who ever acknowledged there could be another side of me.
Mom gave me some serious side-eye when I came downstairs the next morning. I wasn’t sure if she ever stopped working, but it w
as useless to confront her about it. She insisted this was her passion and now that Dad was joining her in Alaska, there was no stopping her. She planned to take over the world, one Werewife at a time, as long as that Werewife wasn’t me.
“You’re up awfully early,” she said. My usual schedule had me sleeping long past sunrise, which this time of year in Alaska, was close to nine in the morning.
I blinked away the middle of the night stupor. “Matteo asked me to help him train.”
I wished I had a camera to capture that look on her face because it was priceless.
“Are you headed to the practice facility?” She was trying to play this cool, but I knew all the classic signs of a Mom freak-out.
I shook my head. “Don’t think Coach is looking for pointers. We’re going for a run.”
“Good luck with that in a foot of snow. Whose idea was this?”
“His. You’re acting like wolves are never interested in humans.”
Dad walked into the kitchen, kissed me on the cheek and Mom, his chosen human, on the top of the head on his way to the coffee pot. Thanks for punctuating my statement with a giant exclamation point, Dad.
“I don’t doubt he’s interested in you.” Mom sighed. “Remember what we talked about. What you wanted before Jasmine shifted.”
This early in the morning, Dad looked as scrambled as I felt. It gave me hope. Maybe wolves weren’t morning creatures. “Which Bloodhound is interested in Jessica?”
“Matteo Shaw,” Mom answered before I had a chance. “The mystery man strikes again.”
Dad’s expression darkened. He still wasn’t sold on Marcus for Jasmine. “Another Shaw brother with a thing for my daughter.”
My dad had been a part of the pack that destroyed Matteo and Marcus’s lives, but he’d left before any of the serious shit hit the fan. He worried that Marcus was only interested in Jasmine for retribution. Maybe now he thought the torch had been passed to Matteo.
“It’s working out for Jasmine.”
“We have even more questions about Matteo than we did about Marcus. At least Marcus has a past we can trace. This guy”—Dad shook his head— “There’s nothing on him anywhere. But when he gets on the field, he’s got the instincts of an All-Pro veteran. We’re keeping him on the team, because we’d be foolish to let go of him, but I’ve got to be honest with you, Jessica. This guy’s too good to be true.”